Can't think of one
by Withheredroses
Summary: (holes) This fanfiction deals with suicide and has mild language. May be one shot, might not.
1. 1: Squids issues realized really tired

A/N: Occasionally, there's some Spanish in the fic, but the translation will be in brackets beside it.

Enjoy the story, please review

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It was little more then an hour before supper and all the little delinquents were back from digging holes. D-then stood around the pool table, watching as Magnet, and some pathetic kid from A-tent played, Magnet, of course, was winning. Everyone was so caught up in the game that they didn't notice as one of them drifted away from the group and walked back to D-tent

Squid sat silently on his cot, his head down in his hands, trembling uncontrollably. He couldn't do it anymore. Caveman was ruining him. He had gotten another letter. Every time he got a letter, Squid could feel himself slipping. He wasn't sure how much longer he could take it. His facade was falling apart at the seems. He didn't know if anyone else noticed the change, but he did, and he couldn't except it.

"Why is it doing this to me?!?!" he cried out bitterly, "I'm not suppose to care!!"

He had fooled everyone, even himself, into believing he didn't give a damn about his mother. But now, because of Caveman's letters, he realized he had been lying, to himself, to everyone.

He got off his cot and kneeled down beside it, feeling the underside with one hand. Finally he found what he had been looking for. Slowly he sat back down and looked at the object. A knife.

He had found it while digging during his first month or so at Greenlake and had kept it hidden beneath his bed, figuring it might come in handy eventually, and not wanting to hand it over to the warden.

It was nothing special, just a regular steak knife with a wooden handle. He supposed it might have been worth something once, but now it was just a rusty and tarnished object, and Squid intended to put it to good use.

"None of 'em will miss me." He muttered darkly to himself. "My ma pro'lly doesn't even remember she's got a son." He admired the knife as he spoke, as if he expected it to answer him.

"It's the only way. I ain't got no options other'n this..." He turned his wrist and studied the blue-ish vein that ran up it for a moment, before slicing into it, going down along the vein.

He gritted his teeth to keep from crying out in pain, maybe using a sharp knife would have been better..

"Yo Squid, How come you..MIERDA SANTA!(holy shit)"

Squid snapped his head up, his face clearly showing surprise as he looked at the wide eyed Magnet standing in the door way.

"¿Qué usted piensa a su hombre que hace?! (What do you think your doing man?)" Magnet exclaimed, slipping into Spanish as he stared at Squid, then his slit wrist.

"What's goin..O my god..Squid! What the hell!" X-ray yelled as he and everyone in D-tent who had followed him, stared at Squids wrist.

"Tha heat must'a got to 'im..." Armpit said quickly, not taking his eyes off Squid's bloody wrist

"We gotta get him to Mr. Sir, or Mom, or the Warden or someone!!"

Caveman. Squid's eyes blazed with hatred. "No! Leave me the hell alone! The heat ain't got to me and I ain't gunna go see the Warden, mom, or Mr. Sir. I know what I'm doin'!"

"But Squiddy, this is what they WANT you to do."

"...Zigzag...should we even ask who 'they' is?"

"The lizards X-ray...The lizards."

There was silence a moment, then the tent erupted with voices, most telling Zigzag to shut up, and that they weren't working for the lizards.

Squid watched and smiled slightly. He'd miss them. He really would. X-ray, always seeming so calm and in control of everything. Armpit, once you got past the smell he wasn't such a bad guy. Magnet, always trying to take his place in line and stealing. Zigzag,...Zigzag was just fun to listen to as he rambled about the lizards and cameras. Zero, he had yet to have a problem with the little mole, or worm, he never had figured out which. He might even miss Caveman...

The D-tenters were so busy arguing that no one noticed when Zero took Magnet's bandana and walked over to Squid.

Squid looked at him, pulling himself out of his thoughts as Zero approached him. Zero gently took squids hand and turned it so his wrist was facing up, and tied Magnet's bandana around it.

"Don't..."

Squid's eyes widened. Zero had spoke to him?! He must be delirious from loss of blood. It wouldn't be much longer now...not long at all.

"Don't kill yourself, Squid."

He wasn't imagining it. Zero had spoken to him, told him not to kill himself. Everyoen turned and looked from Zero to Squid.

"He's right Squid. Think it through man. Don't listen to the lizards."

"Shut up Zigzag. We'll help ya through this. Whatever's goin' on we'll help ya through."

"Is that my bandana?"

"D-tent's a family. We stick together. No matter what. We're always there for our own. Don't you forget that Squid."

He had forgotten it. D-tent was a family, and if no one else, they'd miss him, just like he'd miss them if something happened to one of them.

"Your right...all of you...I didn't think... at all..."

X-ray nodded, "This place does that to you sometimes, but as long as we stick together, ain't nothin' that can bring us down."

Squid smiled slightly, "Thanks y'all..thanks a lot..."

Magnet grinned and they all nodded, "No problem mi amigo (my friend)."

"...but seriously now, is that MY bandana becoming drenched in your suicidal blood?"

Squid looked at the bandana and nodded, "looks that way."

Zigzag gave a high-pitched giggle as Magnet made a funny face.

"Thought so. Man, YOUR cleanin' that later."

Everyone in D-tent joined Zigzag laughing.

"D-tent stays together through everything, no damn camp is gunna change that,"

Once again they all nodded in agreement, because as usual, X-ray was right. D-tent stuck together. No matter what.

A/N: Thanks for reading. This story was inspired by 'Hold On' by Good Charlotte. It's an awesome song, you should listen to it if you can. Anyways, if anyone wants, I could continue this as D-tent helps Squid, and other D-tent members with their problems, much like a support group thing. I'd really appreciate reviews, and thanks again for reading.

  
  



	2. Author's Note

I've decided to continue with this fic because I have yet to receive any flames. It might be awhile before I get the next chapter up though, so if you want, leave a review, or email me, your email address and I'll email you when I get it up. Well, it's like 5 am, and I've been up all night working on stuff for this thing and..I think I'm about to pass out, so, good night.


	3. 2: Squid gets help

A/N: K, this chapter came up faster then I thought. Last night after I posted the other author note, I went upstairs to sleep, but then I fell going up the stairs and couldn't fall back asleep so I wrote this... I might end up fine tuning ti later but, I like this version, and that's rare for me. So please review, thanks!

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They had decided it after supper that night. They'd never let what happened with Squid happen again. Mom 'helped' them once a week in the 'support group' but it was never really taken seriously. Zigzag came up with the idea, and for a split second, they though he wasn't as crazy as they had thought, then he proposed the name. D.A.A.L.B. or D-tent Aids Against Lizardly Brainwashing. They decided to shorten it to D.A.A, D-tent Aids Anonymously. It was decided that they'd meet every night after supper at 8:30 and would discuss whatever came up, until the issue, or issues were resolved, or until it reached 10 o'clock when they would leave it until the next night. Whatever happened during the meetings stayed in the meetings.

The first meeting was that night. Everyone sat on their cots, unsure of what to say or do first. They had all heard Mom start the meetings countless times, but none wanted to start it that way because those meetings never amounted to anything. Finally, X-ray spoke.

"Alright, lt's start by having Squid explain what the hell's up." They all nodded, and looked at Squid.

He was silent for quite awhile, and no one pushed him either, they understood that what ever was painful enough to make him want to take his own life must be even more painful to talk about.

"It's Caveman's letters fault..." he started slowly, finding it hard to put his thoughts and reasoning into words, "His ma is always writin' to 'im, while my ma pro'lly can't even remember how to write her own name, let alone write to her only kid..."

"Man! That's all this whole thing is about?! Some stupid le..." Armpit was silenced when everyone turned to glare at him.

"I'm sorry man," Caveman said apologetically, "I didn't know that my letters affected you like that...I could write and tell her not to write anymore..." he offered thoughtfully.

"Naw, there ain't no need for that..." Squid replied, declining the offer.

"Well, maybe I could get her to write to you too, or to address the letters to all of us, then we could read them during the meetings.. When ever it comes."

X-ray nodded, "That's probably the best idea you've come up with since you got here."

Everyone laughed, the tension that had filled the are at the beginning completely disappearing.

The atmosphere grew solemn once more as X-ray got into a different area of that nights topic. 

"What about your 'allergies' Squid? What's the real reason you lay awake crying almost every night since you got here?"

This time, Squid was even slower to answer as he stared down at his cot.

"It's 'cuz, I...I keep thinking about the day I was arrested... Ma was actually sober that day and all of a sudden these cops showed up and put handcuffs on me while reading me my rights. Ma, she kept asking what the hell was going on, but they didn't answer her and escorted me to the cruiser, and the worst part was, when I got into the cruiser, I smiled and waved as it drove away..." his voice wavered as he finished speaking and continued to just stared down at his cot.

"Whoa..." Magnet shook his head in disbelief, "Eso es frío, man, That's way cold..."

"I know..." Squid said bitterly as he raised his head and glanced at everyone, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"Maybe it's for the best..."

Everyone turned and looked at Zero.

"It's a new record!!" Zigzag giggled, "He's spoken twice in the same day!!"

Zero gave Zigzag a glare, then a small smile, figuring that he was pretty much right.

"How do you it was for the best?" Squid questioned him, the other D-tenters, excluding Zigzag who was still giggling like a maniac, looked at Zero, slightly confused.

"Maybe you being arrested, and happy to get away, made her see how stupid she's been acting, or maybe she'll feel guilty. She might be trying to get permanently sober even as we speak. You could go home from here and find her completely changed."

"I never thought about that...thanks Zero..." Squid said, shaking his head slightly, "Your alright in my book."

Zero gave a small smile, then a loud beeping was heard.

Magnet took the watch that he had stolen from Mom earlier out from under his pillow and shut off the alarm.

"Well, looks like that's it...Night y'all." X-ray concluded simply with a shrug.

Everyone nodded and 'g'night' was mutter through the tent as they turned off the lamps, and for the first time, Squid slept through the entire night, not waking up crying once.

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A/N: and that's the end of that crappy chapter. Bye!

Dani

  
  



	4. They 'help' Zigzag

A/N: This is the 3rd chapter! Yay! This is about Zigzag

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The next morning went the same as all the others. Wake up at 4:30, eat breakfast, dig, eat lunch, dig, shower, hang out in the wreck room, eat supper, and then, it was time for the DAA to meet once more.

Once again, no one was sure of how to start, so finally, after about 15 minutes of silence Caveman turned and looked at Zigzag, then the others.

"Maybe we should try and fix Zigzag's paranoia..."

"I'm not paranoid!"

Magnet burst out laughing, "Man if you ain't paranoid then I ain't never stole nothin' in my life!"

The tent erupted with laughter, even Zigzag broke into his odd giggling laugh. After a few minutes they calmed down and tried to help Zigzag.

"I'm not paranoid. I'm just careful. They know I know."

There was a moment of silence before X-ray shook his head.

"I'm afraid to ask, but whose they and what do you know they know you know?"

Zigzag gave a grin "The lizards. They know I know that we're workin' for them, diggin' them homes. Like I said, I seen at least seven in on hole once." He nodded, looking at everyone as if what had made sense.

"Yeah! Zig, that made perfect sense! But it doesn't just stop at Greenlake! I mean, I bet the government is involved and the president is really a lizard in a suit!" Caveman shook his head as Zigzag's eyes widened.

"I thought they were just makin' us build there homes...but now I see..they intend to live in the holes until they become so numerous they take over all of Texas! Then America! They'll make there way into Mexico and Canada, then the rest of North America! Then South America! Then, they'll cast away on ships and take of Europe and Asia and Africa, Antarctic, the North pole, and even Australia!!" Zigzag began freaking out. Totally and completely freaking out.

"Uh...Ziggy...I think he was kiddn'...."

"No! Armpit. He's right...They'll destroy us!"

"Zigzag! ¡Calma abajo!(calm down) He wasn't serious!"

"We don't work for lizards with dreams of world domination."

"Oh, but X-ray, we do. We do! They'll kill us all in our sleep!! They'll destroy us!! Inject us with poison and harvest our vital organs to bring back to there home planet!"

"What? They run outa delinquent meat up there?" Squid questioned, snickering.

"Oh no! I never thought about that! They'll eat us in our sleep! We'll wake up missin' arms and legs until on day, we just don't wake up at all! And they got us diggin' so we'll taste better!"

"Bet that ain't workin' on 'pit!" Magnet exclaimed, everyone bursting into fits of laughter except Zigzag who was clutching his pillow tightly to his chest, his eyes wide, spinning around in his head, trying to look everywhere at once expecting a lizard attack.

"Dude....we were kiddin'....The lizards won't eat us, they ain't from another planet, they ain't bent on world domination, and we ain't diggin' 'em homes. So chill out alright man?"

Zigzag looked at Squid and gave a slight nod, then at Zero who gave him a reassuring smile, and relaxed slightly, then nearly jumped through the roof of the tent when the alarm went off.

"We'll come back to this later... Maybe.." X-ray said simply as Magnet shut off the alarm.

Like before, good nights were said and the lamps turned off, everyone soon falling asleep, everyone that is, except for Zigzag, who stayed up, listening for lizards.

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A/N: that's the end of that chapter. The session didn't quite work out, lol, poor Zigzag. Gotta love the cute paranoid freaks.


	5. authors note again

Author's note.

Kay, it's been way long since I updated and you people who still read this fic are probably about ready to come and kill me BUT BUT I had some massive writers block and then lost what I did have written, then I rewrote it and my cat destroyed it. But in any case, I intend to update SOON so PLEASE don't beat me!!! *hides*


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